About the Poem

In the twilight of life's journey, the body aches and begs for surcease. All too often, the ones that we raised to respect their elders offer instead the opposite to their parental teachers. And within the Will, they find their reward...

Splitting Heirs

by Alastair Adamson

The phone rings.
My sleep encrusted eyes open...
The tepid old room doesn't focus...
Now where did I put my glasses?
Oh, yes.
The phone rings.
Slowly I slide my legs to the floor,
Slipping bunioned, splayed feet in slippers,
Pulling on my tattered house-coat.
My fingers don't like to work
This early in the afternoon.
The knot is clumsy, my knuckles swollen.
The phone rings.
I'm coming, I'm coming,
Just let these old bones get settled.
I'm moving just as fast as I can.
Years of back-breaking labor have broken me,
All save my will to keep breathing.
Hello...speaking
No I ain't gots no money fo you.
Social Security ain't what it used to be,
Not with Poppa twelve years dead.
No, I ain't ready to join with him yet.
Hello?
Well, I'll swan.
I'd never listen if someone else said it,
But my children are worthless, no respect,
Draggin my old bones outta bed
Just to see if they're in my will.
Plain ungrateful after all I've been
Through for them,
All I've done for them.
Lawd, I'm so tired.
Bring soon Thy Sweet Chariot
And I'll cross with You over that
Great Divide.
Heh heh, won't those chillin be surprised:
I've done dismissed the accountants, bankers,
And lawyers, and donated all my money
To Amnesty International,
All two million, three hundred and nineteen thousand,
Forty-three dollars and eighteen cents.
Oh, yes,
Won't they be surprised.

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2 Visitor Comments

Doris

I love this. I just had to read it simply because of a predicament caused by my husband's oldest brother who is the executer of their mother's estate. she has been deceased since 2000 (June) and he still has yet to finish settling her estate; he has cheated them somewhat, but it will be hard to prove. I know what she would do should she have the chance. Anyway, I love the poem. thanks.

carly and laura

I hought this poem was so funny. It was so surprising!

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