About the Poem
Four years ago, we fell deeply in love within minutes of meeting each other. Though our love manifested itself Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, as well as physically, it was not meant to be fulfilled.
He's married and committed to his family. We spent many magical, powerful evenings together, each time promising ourselves it would be the last time. This poem was written during one excruciatingly painful night, when I wondered if I'd survive this loss. It begins with an attempt to describe the pain, leading into a fantasy that he'd arrived to see me (hence, the title) and ending with the reality that I was indeed still alone. The activity described is literal. The stone I reached for was a heart shaped rose quartz, which is said to aid in the healing of a broken heart.
If you find yourself suffering from loss of love, know that from pain we develop strength, wisdom and compassion. These qualities can be purchased in no other way. They're priceless. I survived, and I promise you - so can you.
God bless us all.
|A cold, gray mist massages my heart,
Our Oneness was fated, why tear us apart?
Sharp icicles piercing, drain life from my soul,
My spirit is grieving, Love, why must you go?
Tonight in my sorrow, the phone by my ear,
I traced out the number whose ring you won't hear,
Pretended you whispered, your voice filled with love,
"Sarah, you'll always be the most special one. "
The pipes didn't clang, it's you finally knocking,
The chimes at my window are you laughing softly!
The floor didn't settle, it's you drawing near,
The clock ticks the beat of your heart, so dear!
I opened my arms overwhelmed with desire,
Your kiss and caress would consume me in fire!
I arched towards your body, to receive, be fulfilled,
Then reality bared glist'ning fangs - I lay still.
Now hot burning tears trace down - not tears!
Can't face it, too hard, so achingly clear.
See clouds of a storm? Hear thunder, see lightning?
I'm laying in the rain, that's all, not crying.
The mist's creeping back, so stealthy, so sure,
Must search for the strength to heal, to endure.
I reach for the stone to press to my heart,
The gray dawn approaches, I've played the fool's part.