About the Poem
This poem is an attempt to explain my shy character and lack of courage, which inevitably led to this outpour of self-scrutiny. I inevitably found problems with myself which I feared were the basis of my "bad character."
I viewed myself as unapproachable and my self-confidence dropped considerably. But after reading the poem a few times I began to think that my "problems" were only self-viewed and could be accepted.
A Wanderer's Search
|by Philip Zemler|
|Except for the few glimmers of dying sunlight,
I was alone in this world. Alone and tired.
To sleep was to give up, and that I would not do.
My quest for a friend led me down different paths,
But none quite like this. Luscious and beautiful,
Firmly packed dirt trail with a babbling brook running alongside.
I was lost in the enchantment, my eyes sparkled with life
For the first time in ages. Wondrous music filled the air
As I rounded a bend in the trail. A voice so sweet
Accompanied the delicious sound. I came upon you
Swaying gently back and forth as you plucked at the strings
Of a magnificent instrument. You knelt under
The boughs of a lovely silver fir, your hair shimmering
Through the shadows like a guiding star. Enchanting words
Poured from your lips about wondrous angels and the fruits of heaven.
A salty drop escaped my battling lashes as I
Witnessed your supple beauty and innocent grace.
I viewed my mirror of self reprisal and examined
The rustic shape that was me. I compared your
Virgin soul to the damnable sins of mine. Another
Tear fell from my eye as I whispered the most
Painful words of my life. "Goodbye" broke into the
Peaceful accord of your song and you raised your eyes.
You saw me walking morosely back down the trail I
Had come on, as I saved your innocence from the
Staining darkness of my lonely needs. The beauty
Of your memory kept me going, as, alone in this world,
I searched out a friend whom I was worthy of.